


Words and Consequences

by ProdigySorcerer



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 15:39:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13103304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProdigySorcerer/pseuds/ProdigySorcerer
Summary: Guided by the Force Bastila Shan and Revan, now under the identity he was brainwashed with, have completed their mission in locating the Star Forge and ending the Jedi Civil War.By evading capture their party never once got into a situation where Revan's past was revealed to him, but now a still brainwashed Revan has to function as a normal Jedi Knight in the new peace.Can Bastila watch him close enough and keep up the charade of his new identity even as they continue their war-born romance ?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away ...
> 
> It is a time of peace, the Galactic Republic has won an incredible victory  
> in the Jedi Civil War, yet none know how easily destruction might come  
> again.
> 
> As Revan and Malack, once former heroes and saviors of the Republic turned  
> against it to satisfy their lust for conquest and rule, they have also secretly began  
> seeing the other as a threat.
> 
> Malack was the first to strike, cowardly turning the guns of his flagship upon his  
> master’s vessel as Revan was dealing with a Jedi strike force.
> 
> By the will of the Force though there were two survivors Bastilla Shan, an gifted  
> padawan and by her mercy the Dark Lord himself Revan.
> 
> The Jedi Council having captured their greatest foe, still had an enormous task  
> ahead as Malack was at the head of seemingly infinite army of ships and droids.
> 
> With the need to reveal the Sith’s secrets as their primary concern they wiped the  
> mind of their captive Darth Revan instead forging in his place a new personality,  
> that of a loyal Republic Scout eager to fight against the Sith onslaught.
> 
> Though the path was tumultuous and fraught with peril, this Beka Loran and Bastilla  
> who was now linked to him managed to find the location of the Star Forge.
> 
> Evading capture at every turn they were able to destroy the space station cutting off  
> Malak from his limitless re-enforcements.
> 
> Some time later a increasingly desperate Darth Malak made a fatal mistake in a fleet  
> battle and his ship was outmaneuvered leading to his death.
> 
> Now Jed Knights Loran and Bastilla try to mend the galaxy following the war while  
> also concealing their romance from their Jedi Masters.

“ ... and that is why your mission is so essentials those stims are tainted stock and if they’re sold to civilians for recreational use the number of lives lost could be great indeed.”

“We understand, Master Atris.” Bastilla responded immediately to show that we had been paying attention.

“Good, the Council has given you two this mission due to your unique ... knack ... for investigation and ability to blend in with the civilian population ”

“We regret not being able to give you more information but you have our full trust. May the Force be with you knights Shan and Beka.”

I wanted to snicker, if the council really did trust me they wouldn’t assign Bastilla as my partner for every mission they gave me, but hey the last thing I wanted to do was complain.

Almost all of the other Jedi’s looked at me funny, if they could they’d probably prefer to take back my rank citing that I couldn’t have been properly trained in the war.

Me whining would only prove their accusations of favoritism and being only half-a-Jedi true.

Sometimes I caught me agreeing with them as well, what if my strength in the Force wasn’t my own but came only through my link with Bastilla ?

Still if I did have to have a keeper, what better choice than my Jedi princess of a lover ? 

“You’re incorrigible !” Bastilla sent through the Force, an unique ability that derived from our bound.

“Yes ... but you love me for it.”

“Starring at my ... at my behind all through the briefing, could you be any less subtle ? If Master Atris finds out about us ... ”

“Well I would rather have starred at your uh front side but that really would have made it obvious.”

“Just go get your gear and meet me in front of the temple in half an hour.”

...

“I have a bad feeling about this place.” I couldn’t help but say.

“Uh I know this isn’t up to your usual standards princess auu”

“Stop calling me that!” I said but with a hint of playfulness in my voice.

“But you hiiiittt meeee ... and you act like a princess all the time ...” the former Dark Lord of the Sith whined like a youngling.

How did it come to this ?

Me, a self proclaimed by-the-rules Jedi having a secret lover ?

Especially one that was actually a former Sith that was brainwashed, every night I go back to my room at the Temple and go into my small cot and wish I was instead on the Ebon Hawk sharing quarters with him, a man who if he knew the truth would choke the life out of me without any remorse.

A man who’s feelings, who’s affection for me could only be built on the morally shaky foundation of a mind wipe and a Force Bond he didn’t consent to.

“and with our war plunder gone, we can’t really use the Temple stipend for love hotels, trying to discount a stay at one of those tends to attract attention so we’re left with places like this ... the budget version.” Revan was droning on trying to explain himself.

“Uh as long as there are no roaches.”

“That’s speciest.” which earned him another jab in the stomach.

“Look on the bright side, places like this the admin is not really made up off patriotic individuals it’s the perfect place for two `war heroes` to rent a bed for an hour without being recognized.”

“Oooh an hour, ain’tI lucky girl you kept one of those endurance stims from the war ?”

“Ha ha” Revan deadpanned, I have to stop thinking of him as Revan he’s an hero not a monster and the more we explore our bond the more intertwined we become if he somehow senses how I identify him it would be the end of well everything.

...

The Masters are such fools, I know this is insane thinking of them while Bastila is writhing under me, the both of us aglow with sweat but how can they claim to be wise and have us set love aside ?

I have never felt the Force more strongly than when I am in Bastila’s presence, even from the first time I met her when there wasn’t even the seed of an attraction there was something else.

A heat, a spark.

Bastila could hate me, and I’d still love her and I’d love the galaxy all the more because it’s her galaxy and I’d love the Force because it’s what connects me to her.

Even now as I’m inside her I’m with her in the Force, some kind of state of being those old idiots could never understand, nor do they deserve to understand.

Now she’s telling me not with words, but with feelings with needs to go faster, stronger.

We’re both so close.

How can she look sexy, beautiful and cute at the same time ?

“I love you !!!” there I said it, loud and clear.

So what if I am the first to say it ?

I know what the answer will be, I don’t need no vision or prophecy, just Bastila’s heart beating to my own.

And yes I said it with words, with sound, because that’s the harder way because that’s the way you can’t dance around and claim it’s something else or hard to sense or hard to understand.

She’s so close and she’s parting her lips, filling her lungs with air.

“Ahh uh ... ahh Revannn !!! ”

...

The bed stopped shaking, my breath was slowly coming back, soon the room will stop spinning as well.

But the glow was fading, even as my body was riding the final waves of pleasure down, it could tell me that I wasn’t feeling his warmth on me.

The chill of this not properly heated room was also starting to bite and I lazily try reach out with my feelings a cuddle would complete this lovemaking session quite nicely.

But I feel only walls, ice and acid, fear and loathing, what is wrong with him ?

I look at his face, he’s looking at me like I’m enemy, I can read only weariness and focus from his features.

Oh no, no, no. No !!!

Did I really say it ?

Oh Force please let this be a bad dream.

Could I have been so careless ? Did he hear me correctly ?

Seconds pass between us, neither of us speaks a word.

His breadth is steadily increasing, it’s rhythm almost like his old mask, there can be no denying it I called him by his true name, Revan.


	2. Chapter 2

The silence was deafening, I’d never really understood the full weight of that expression until the seconds crawled along between me and Revan with not one of us making the slightest expression to contact the other.

I tried to rally and and regain a measure of dignity ... but my lack of clothes proved too great of an obstacle, Revan on the other hand seemed completely able to ignore his nakedness and channel a impressive mix of betrayal and loathing simply through his eyes.

Did he understand what I just did ?

Did my moment of weakness trigger a complete resurfacing of his memories as the Dark Lord ? I would venture to guess no since he wasn’t choking the life out of me with the Force.

So the charade is still holding, the masters’s intrusions into his mind still hold sway over him, the pain that is written all over his face now is due to what he believes to be a romantic betrayal.

Uh, it would almost be easier just to tell him the truth:

-“Honey you might not remember this but I saved your life the first time we ever met, so you owe me some slack.”

-“Granted then I took you to have your mind wiped, but I didn’t know that at the time it was the council that voted.”

-”I just took advantage of your death of self to shack up with the new you, which is the current you so don’t be jealous !!!”

This is insane, he’s driving me insane with his silence even worse than on the Ebon Hawk when we were trying to ignore our attraction.

```  
I sensed a warm current in the Force, swooping in to envelop me ... it has this ... gah !!! there should be a word for this !!! why am I the only Jedi who doesn’t understand this stuff ... because I was only rushed through bootcamp in order to fight Malak ... 

It has Bastilla’s taste on it, it hums with the tune of our bond, it’s not her physical hand reaching out for me, but it’s the same instinct, the same desire for contact probably even more.

Durasteel walls, thick, cold, impenetrable ...

My mind is a fortress with durastell walls.

My soul is a battleship in the void of space.

A bunker in which the enemy can’t enter.

This is the only way I can block her from coming in, my thoughts are crude things, militaristic, utilitarian I can’t conceive denying Bastilla except if she is the enemy.

Got be careful function follows form, if I think of Bastilla as the enemy she might become one ... but isn’t she already ? If not enemy, at least a traitor.

```  
“Don’t” his lips finally move.

His voice is weak, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him so ... lacking in conviction. Maybe during the darker days of our quest, but never to the crew ... to them he was unshakable ... he only was honest to me about the weight he felt he was under because our bond made it impossible to hide.

I hate this, trying to read him from his body alone, I need to sense his feelings touch him with the Force.

But he has gotten insanely good at his whole “pretend to be droid so don’t bother reading me” game.

Still count your blessings when you can I guess, at least he’s acknowledged me.

“I ... can explain.” I try for a conciliatory tone and perfect pronunciation.

Revan might say that I only affect a Coruscant accent to be haughty, but I can tell deep down he loves it.

“I doubt that you could to my satisfaction ...” again my mind races, his reaction might have been could and harsh but if this was the true him I’d be dead already.

“Well uh I ... ” try to draw things out maybe the Force will provide inspiration.

“Oh spare me the cutesy out-of-touch princess act, maybe save it for the guy you actually want to be with you in your bed ! Oh wait he’s dead. And a traitor ...”

“It wasn’t ... ”

“So yeah you and Revan would have been the perfect couple.”

“Now listen you Outer Rim reject I don’t put up acts for people so whatever you’re implying ...”

“And the high and mighty Jedi act was old from day one. Remember when I met you or should I say saved you ... kinda hard to accept lectures from a woman in a metal bikini.”

I SAVED YOU BACK THEN, WHEN MALAK TRIED TO KILL YOU !!!

```  
I took maybe too much satisfaction hearing the door to the room slam as it automatically closed.

It was a blessing really, as I was withdrawing myself inside ... rejecting any Force contact, the physical barrier prevented me from hearing any more of Bastilla’s pleading.

“Good, nourish the anger the resentment only these can give you the strength to deny her.” a voice encouraged it in my mind, cold and mechanical that’s how I had imagined Revan’s voice.

Almost droid-like.

He was dead tough, so I could be content to know these were not really Revan’s words merely my own thoughts bubbling to the surface.

Oh how would the masters censure me if they knew of this !!!

I payed the scum that owned this place lest he might try and find a reason to barge in over Bastilla, who might still be undressed.

“Why do you care for that traitor ?” pseudo-Revan helpfully offers as I walk past the speeder that brought us to this poverty ridden level of the Coruscant ecumenopolis.

Bastilla’s not used to being outside the Jedi conclaves as I am and there was no need to pour salt in the wound by having her return on foot to the Temple.

“She’s weak, let her walk among the common weaklings so that she may appreciate just how worthless they really are ... and rid herself of the silly notion that they deserve protection !”

Uh was Revan really such a stereotypical Sith ?

Bla blah everyone but me is weak bla bla

I could never find any speeches made by him, or recordings of him when he wasn’t wearing that stupid mask and dress.

“It’s quite logical really, you should know that as a former by the book Jedi I didn’t seek glory so I avoided being the subject of interviews and etc ”

“But you lead a frakking crusade against the Mandalorians, you can’t tell me that none of the legions of Holonet paparazzi didn’t try and get an exclusive interview after you assumed full command of the Republic forces ?” I said conversing with the voice in my head ... as all of us sane men are wont to do.

“Eh by then I was wearing the mask full time, both for my oath and to become a symbol, that’s what the Republic needed, a symbol a figure head to rally behind. And I turned out to be as adept at that as I was at leading battles.”

“They do say you could be awfully charming. I guess the Republic isn’t above purging any holovids that made you look good so as to dissuade more people from joining you once you turned on them.”

“Charming enough to steal your girl, despite being dead.” I swear I could imagine his stupid mask smirking.

```  
The first rejection hurt the most, I had waited days before seeking out Revan again having hoped that his emotions would have cooled down and his more rational mind would have chosen to move on.

No such luck.

A vicious cycle then formed where I would give Revan more time to forgive me only to be rejected again ... and again and again each rejection each denial of any basic interaction stinging less and less.

Even as I fought it a new normalcy was taking root, one in which togetherness, growth and warmth were replaced by isolation, stagnation and the most bitter cold.

Once my bond with Revan had been a spark, then kindling then a flame whose many colors illuminated my entire understanding of the Force that binds us all together, I can swear that every person I reach out with the Force now seems merely a gray mockery of what they should be.

Freyyr has invited us to his village for a period of celebrations and ceremonies, as we were summoned as honored guests he can’t possibly talk his way out of going, the Council would order him to go as a worst case scenario as to not offend the wookies.

So here I am, standing outside the door to his room at the Temple, trying to summon the courage to face him once again.

It might be my memory, but I’m fairly sure I was less afraid the first time I was to met him.

You know when my objective had been simply to capture and or kill the strongest Jedi of our generation, famed strategist and Dark Lord of the Sith. 

Finally I knock, and after receiving no reply enter.

His room is more of an mess than I remember it and what is that smell ?

Does he really think bathing is only for people in relationships ?

I find him hunched over the terminal in his room, as he has been actively cutting himself off from me in the Force it could be only with crude senses that he could have detected my presence, which he obviously didn’t given how he absorbed he was with the computer.

“The battle of Rathan V ? I didn’t know we had it in the tactical simulation program ...” it was not often you could startle a former Sith Lord.

And his confused reaction face was delicious.

“Hmm ... you ” yes me, your partner and savior the woman you’ve been avoiding for two months “of course you’d know it, it is one of Revan’s.”

“It is also one of his defeats, Loran, why are you running it again ?” I didn’t want to pry to much but the program’s interface clearly showed this was his 66th straight attempt at the battle.

“Yeah it was glossed over in hindsight as soon as Revan started making consistent progress against the Mandos but for a time, a big defeat like this when he was just a punk knight that was leading only because none of the Council wanted to intervene ... this could have been the moment Revan lost steam and the Republic could have pulled their support leaving him a virtual nobody. ”

“You want to prove that you’re better than him ... ” how ironic I didn’t add out loud.

“His key mistake was that he was too aggressive, he took only the forces that could reach to save that mining colony leaving himself open to be encircled and pinned down.”

“You’ll hate me for this but I think his decision was made out of compassion, he couldn’t bare the thought of leaving those civilians defenseless before the Mandalorians not if he had any soldiers whatsoever that could reach.”

“The right call ... would have been to leave the miners to their fates and fortify the main planet of the sub sector then he could have his battle with the raiding fleet on his terms not theirs.”

“That’s cold, callous. Even if that is the right decision it would have killed a Jedi to make it, this is why the Council didn’t want to get involved.”

“Now of course going with the right decision is no fun, so I’ve been trying to see if the situation was salvageable at a tactical level ... could Revan have won with just the troops he brought ? But actually the more important question is what are you doing here, lecturing me about how how wonderful Revan was and how much of a bastard I am by contrast ? ”

For a split second I was trying to figure out whether I wanted to leave crying at his callousness or slap the stupid out of him, then I remembered I was a Jedi, there is no emotion there is peace etc etc.

“We’ve been invited by the Wookies to one of their most holy celebrations, so we need to go together get the Hawk back in flying shape ...”

“The Wookies can take their `Life Day` and shove it up their asses !”

“The Wookies are allies we can’t afford to lose !”

“Meaning ?”

“If you don’t want to come ... because ... because of your stupid male ego I’ll talk with the Council they’ll agree with me and you’ll be sent anyway, on a diplomatic mission.”

“You know what you just said I don’t hate you for defending Revan ... I think all the Jedi women who were around his age more or less have the same crush the same fantasy `Oh I could have saved Revan with my love!` ”

Boy oh boy the masters wiping his brain if anything increased his ego.

“But ...” I continue his thought.

“I hate how I had no idea you felt the same, through the Force thought our bound I think you put in a lot of effort to hide it, I hate finding out your capacity for deceiving me, for hiding from me ... I guess my ... thoughts that our link was special that we were equally open. I was a fool.”

You don’t know how it takes every ounce of willpower and discipline I have just to keep myself from telling you the truth ... every day ... damn the Jedi damn the Sith I just want to be with you without any lies.

“Open yourself to me” I say putting my own hand upon his “I’ll show you that the man I want isn’t some Dark Lord but you.”

```  
In the Force, my thoughts once again flowed to him unhindered currents of emotions, hopes, dreams, regrets bounced between us luring me in into a state of peace I had not felt for the longest time.

This would be the harshest test of my emotional control and Force ability I would need to send to him the truth but only that parts of it that wouldn’t hint at his born again nature.

I would be dancing in and out of the flame: 

“Realize there is no one I would rather be with, than you Loran ” 

“Every day since then I weep at my own weakness and folly”

“Vicariously I linger in our old places hoping to see you”

“Another day like this is a fate I do not know if I can bear”

“Neither can I stand seeing you suffer”

```  
The connection was broken suddenly, and for the longest second of my life I was back looking at the statue of the man, as he cut himself from everything and was even keeping his eyes closed as if lost in thought.

“Bastilla ... I’m sorry, I was such a fool please I’ll go right now and start prepping the Ebon Hawk some travel will do us both good.”


End file.
